Extremely detailed Play-by-Play

Here's a very detailed itinerary of our week in Beijing. We realize nobody will read this. Please don't, it's far too detailed. For the edited story, read the earlier post, "stuck inside of mobile...".

Monday

--Check out of hotel

--Swarm the Bank of China as it opens. Wait for young men with shotguns (or grenade launchers?) to load the bank with cash. Go in and take number. Stand in line. Exchange money.

--Arrive at languid Vietnamese Embassy. Ask questions of very nice lady.

--Arrive at Laotian Embassy. Ask questions of exceedingly kind and gentle man.

--Baotzu and noodle soup with cilantro and nameless meat--17 Quai

--Back to Vietnamese Embassy. Pay for visa and hand over passport.

--Old man on street invites us to his home, offers us a room after demonstrating shower and aircon. Polite decline. Move on. Walk past enormous video screen.

--Check into new hotel

--Eat hotpot and draft beer; get minor traveller's diarrhea

--Goodnight

Tuesday

--Sleep in

--Visit market. Jim buys cheap tennis shoes and ethically questionable t-shirt

--More traveller's diarrhea

--Walk mile to subway stop. Take subway

--Visit Beijing East Train Station. Visit "24 Hour English Speaking" window. Instructed in Mandarin to go to West Train Station.

--Take subway, walk .5 mile.

--Visit Beijing West. Visit "English Speaking" window. Student in line translates and instructs us to go to nearby hotel by bus station for Hanoi ticket.

--Visit three separate hotel offices. Walk through formation of soldiers drilling kung fu. They lunge. We laugh. They laugh, commander not happy.

--Office we need closed. Neighbor writes down office hours, 9-5.

--Limp toward station. Walk. Eat. Walk. Subway. Cab. Hotel.

--Goodnight

Wednesday

--Pay too much for coffee (most likely decaf)

--Pick up visa at Vietnam Embassy!

--Revisit bank, wait in line

--Revisit West Train Station "9-5" office. Wait two hours for it to open.

Meet an Austrilo-Brit fellow who just finished an auto rally from London to China. Ozzy Osbourne's son, Jack, was in another car filming a British reality show. In Mongolia, they blew up Jack's car with a tank. Also met an Irish couple starting a one-year trip.

--The office opens and the woman tell us the train to Hanoi is booked for over a week. Only one ticket left, which goes to the crazy Austrilo-Brit fella. He's a lawyer, by the way.

--We go to West Station looking for tickets to cities in the south. Several windows, several queues. No luck. We hear of a travel service by the East station.

--Walk. Lunch. Subway. Old-school Beijing bathroom (trench behind cinder blocks).

--We arrive at travel service as the man is literally turning the sign to "closed". They assure us we can get a domestic train ticket there at 8:30AM.

Thursday

--We arrive at 8:30. They tell us they don't sell domestic train tickets. Or international train tickets. Or air tickets. What the hell do they do?

--Find coffee shop with Internet. Pay too much for coffee and then research options.

--Go to East Train Station. Search for English offices.

Stand in three short lines, redirected to other lines.

Stand in line. Man tells us wrong line. Stand in another line. Line disappears.

Stand in another line, make friends with meteorology student. Finally make it to window, very nervous. Man tells us to go to another line. We ask about other cities, he offers a ticket to Guilin. We're unsure, we bolt. Leave Chinese phrase book behind. Book stolen.

Go to another line. Unknowingly cut in line. Tickets sold out for many days.

--Leave station in frustration

--Try to find another travel service in a fancy International Hotel. Falsely polite lady contradicts everything we've learned so far. Reckon we didn't look worthy her time.

--Regroup. Screw our courage to the sticking post. Return to wacky train station and stand in previous line awhile, buy some damn tickets to Guilin, figuring we'll make it to Vietnam later.

--Feel elated at our accomplishment. Eat Jaotza, drink beer, blog. Long train ride early tomorrow.