Adventures in Chinglish

Yesterday, on the way to the "Beijing Camera General Factory Shop", we passed by the "Sweet smelling village stylish restaurant." Along the way, we saw a young man in a "nautical preppy" polo and his companion in the "queer queen junk rockers" sun dress.

I stopped at the bathroom and was sure to obey the sign to "stretch your hands" before leaving. A young lady's shirt begged for "Yo Nore War!" and a government sign encouraged, "In order of humanities, create an authority in certain field." How true.

We were considering an evening at "The Song and Dance Troupe of General Political Department" but decided instead to dine at the "amuseful happy customer easy meal" restaurant beside another eatery that assured us, "old Beijing rinses the meat".

Bonnie was relieved to know that the "Sunny Lady Gynecology Hospital of Beijing" was down the street by the "Chinese Sexology Association". (We prefer this to the "No Holiday Hospital". I imagine a night there certainly is no holiday.)

Speaking of sex, we passed several stores for "Adult Care, Sex Care, Medicine for Stimulating Sexual Appetite and Artificial Sexual Instruments". They sell medicines like "Ant King Pills for Virax Penis" and "An Artillery [pill] does all night!" We can also, if we feel so inclined, purchase an inflatable "occidental countess" for uses I don't want to share here.

(written by Jim)